The Baal's Beauty - India's Fuss Over HAIR!

Image credit: GOOGLE/ CREATIVE BLOQ

Hello Potatoes,

Nah… I’m not kidding around. I really am going to talk about this and I don’t care who gets offended. Gotta start with why I am writing about this. Bear my story so that you can get the point of this longgggg blog post.

I have always been a rebel since the time I was capable to make my own decisions. Being an only child and a dear to my parents, they kinda let me do whatever I wanted and however I wanted to experiment with myself and with my life and I’m grateful for that because I’ve seen how some kids can go through a shitty life because of their parents.

Fast forward to 2010, I dropped out of college and pursued Photography. Later, I pursued Public Relations & Media Management and managed to land a PR internship with an NGO. From there on, I knew I wanted to work with NGOs and/or startups. Few more internships and jobs,a hell lot of experiments with my life and I finally got into social media marketing and writing. 2014, I turned vegan and I knew that was my calling. Animal Liberation is what I want to fight for with my skills, hence the birth of my blog VeganFixins, which is now, The Scribble World!

I had no idea how my life is going to turn around. The things I’ll be exposed to and because of veganism, I was exposed to different social causes like LGBTQIA+, Feminism, Human rights etc, not that I didn’t know about them, but now I was more aware about these causes and learnt more and more as time passed by. Believe me, all this is related to the title of this post! Bear a little more. You gotta know the story to understand my message.

I was actually always a ‘weird’ kid. I wanted to do things which are not ‘normal’ in the eyes of the society and I gave zero fucks on what they think. Thanks to my progressive parents, they never gave me, ‘log kya kahenge?’(what will people think?) shit! Fought through assaults, molestations, betrayal from what I called ‘friends’, got cheated, got dumped and so on. Something a lot of people go through, unfortunately. All these experiences have molded me into a stronger person. Nevertheless, I had shitty childhood but I wasn’t complaining and neither am I doing it now.

P.S. I ain't no saint. I was naive back then too but somehow I felt I should keep my thoughts in check and would always try to put myself in someone else's shoes that would I like it, if someone were to judge me the way I am or would judge others in a certain way? No, right?! There's no shame in making mistakes, we gotta rectify them before it does any more damages.

Coming from a Maharashtrian (marathi) and Sindhi family. I grew up with a mindset of femininity around me. I didn’t understand it then but I was always told by my grandma, that girls need to behave and look certain way. I saw girls in my school with perfect hair, skin and lean aesthetics. I was nowhere near all that and I actually didn’t mind. I’m again glad my parents never pushed me to behave in a certain way. I knew my manners but I also knew how to pull a ‘bitch face’ or put up a fight because my dad always told me to take ‘no shit’ from anyone.

Growing up, I had luscious, dense, long hair! Something my friends always complimented me on and my mom and grandma nagged me to take care of it. Being the careless one, I never did. I just handled it my way. I loved my long hair too, no doubt about that. Guys would compliment and that teenage phase, it would matter, sadly.

In 2015, I chopped my long hair! Everyone around me went bonkers! It was like I did some crime. Shocked reactions and a lot of ‘WHYs??” were thrown on my face. I tossed them like a bawse because I was loving my new look. Imagine the amount of my parents’ money I saved over shampoo and conditioner. I was feeling so carefree, where I wouldn’t have to carry that weight around. IN 2017, I upped my game and got a side-shave! Loved the look! But something unusual for people around me and I started getting confused, amused or just weird stares from this point on.

Fast forward to present, I went all out and got a buzzcut! That’s it! I knew, I would shock people again but this time, they crossed all the logic and lines! Friends, family probably had mini panic attacks over my buzzcut. The social media gave a lot of ‘thumbs up’ and ‘hearts’ but the real people around me gave me ‘WTF’ and ‘the disappointing nod’. It felt like I cut their hair against their will!

People have preferences over colours, apparels, shoes, cosmetics, hair styles which is all cool but then, they have preferences for others too. Funny, isn’t it? Hence, I thought I would like to call out all ‘judgy-wedgies’ and give them a little schooling on ‘How not to bother what other people do with their hair or their lives!’ (unless it’s affecting yours).

I notice a lot of stares thrown my way because of my hair and the way I dress up. If y’all know me a little, I identify as gender queer, meaning I don’t particularly fit any one conventional gender. Another thing people don’t understand or try to understand. Him/her isn’t the pronoun that I like to use for myself and some gender queers, like to go with ‘them’ (like me) and/or there are different pronouns specific to the way they identify themselves.

Hence, I like to dress up neutral and comfortable more so. Having said that, I like to put on some lipstick time to time and some eyeliner. That’s all about make-up I know and I’m going to stick with it.

Coming back to one of the superficial beauty of HAIR, we not only nag women but there’s a good amount of pressure on men too. May not be as widespread as for women because C’mon, femininity is only for females! (notice the sarcasm). If men go bald, that’s a shame too. If men shave their body hair, they loose mardangi (masculinity). They will be offered unsolicited advice from anyone and everyone to try methods of growing back the hair or have implants by the infamous Dr. Batra’s spam messages.

A man growing long hair, is whole another issue, that would probably need a whole different blog post. It’s a serious mission for families to fix their children’s imperfections. I pity those kids. Making them think that superficial beauty is the most important thing can lead to a lot of insecurities and mental health issues.

Ain't he handsome?!

That humble face is hot!

BTW, did you know? In 1500s, men were the one to have long hair and women mostly had neck/shoulder length hair. Did you also know that men have the history of wearing skirts and heels. This may not be in every country or culture but to realise that these are all human-made rules for their own race to discriminate, stereotype the aesthetics for conventional genders. In 19th century, pink was the colour for boys and girls had white and blue. Now, of course colours or anything should not be gender oriented but you get the message across.

Suits perfectly!

Men in Pink! 

Here's a viral news on how some men rebelled against 'dress codes' for men and women and how they weren't allowed to wear shorts in schools or work place during summers.

Pulling it off, looking fab!

These boys look pretty happy and comfortable in these skirts!

Now, we are in 20th century, I believe it’s time to get over the superficial beauty compartmentalized by humans, for humans. We gotta get out of that bubble and embrace diversity. We are a country known for it, yet we have the most ridiculous expectations from each other.

Them curls!

Man bun!

Millennials are the ones who can break stereotypes, be progressive and woke and learn to accept and adapt fluidity in ‘gender roles’. The term needs to be eradicated to have ‘equality’ in every sense. Women already go through a lot of shit in their lives because of the unrealistic expectations from parents, friends, relatives, neighbours, society. Men are asked to be the bread earner and live a life without showing emotions with the scare of scarring their masculinity. C’mon, use that brain that’s rusting and let them be.

Long hair or short hair or baldness, has logical, realistic and practical pros and cons and some spiritual connections if that matters to some out there but it’s completely an individual’s choice to do whatever the heck they want with their hair, body, face, clothes! You want to grow your hair touching the ground? You want to wear all pink and colour your face with makeup? By all means, do as you please. Do not dictate how another woman or man, should look or wear!

 

Compliments, suggestions are all good! Constantly nagging a woman for short hair or being bald, nagging a man for being bald or a shaved body hair or long hair, only proves that it’s YOU who hasn’t evolved. It speaks about your mindset and not the other way around. I don’t care how I look in short hair, it’s about how I feel. I feel liberated, carefree and I don’t have to waste my time in taking care of it or worrying about it and collecting fallen hair from every single corner of my house. Maybe your thing, not mine!

The hair that I cut is attached to my head, which is attached to my body. I don’t see why anyone else has to freak out over it. Chill, they gonna grow back or they won’t because it’s up to me. I don’t ask you to cut your hair or dress a certain way. I would appreciate if you don’t ‘tell’ me or anyone else how to ‘look’ as well! 😁

Let’s all keep our noses where it belongs and live by peacefully without judging others. (this does not apply to veganism, I have to say this!)

This may not seem to be a big deal for some but the ones that are targeted, will be able to relate with this.

Be cool and let others be too!

A big 'FUCK YOU' to gender norms! 🖕 😎

Laters, potatoes!

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Images credit: Google.